Things They Don't Tell You About Postpartum Recovery
I am 7 months postpartum and my gosh, I AM 7 MONTHS POSTPARTUM!
I still sometimes catch myself thinking how crazy it is that I have a beautiful baby girl! That I gave birth to a child. That I went through all the nasties, and that I SURVIVED! If you’re a mom, you know exactly what I’m talking about! It’s been a crazy yet fulfilling 7 months and I know the best is yet to come!
For today’s post, I just wanted to share some things that I didn’t know about postpartum recovery. This post is not that serious, and if anything, I hope you get a good laugh out of it.
THE PAIN, OOOH THE PAIN — A LOT OF PAIN!
It feels like you’ve been punched down there a million times!
CAN YOU STOP A SNEEZE?
The answer is no, and yes, sneezing was scary.
YOU BETTER THINK TWICE BEFORE EATING WHATEVER YOU WANT.
Like sneezing, pooping was scary!
YOU WILL MASTER THE ART OF HALF LYING DOWN HALF SITTING UP
because sitting will be dreadful.
YOU WILL HAVE A NEW BESTIE —
the peri bottle.
REMEMBER YOUR BEAUTIFUL LEAN LEGS?
they’ve been replaced with beautiful elephant legs.
YOU CAN TALK THE TALK, BUT YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO WALK THE WALK —
the pain, the cankles, the pain, so just get back into bed.
WHAT IS SLEEP?
ICE ICE BABY —
You gotta ice your baby down there.
Na-ah, you got something better gurfran. Those net panties are amazing. Haha.
OMG THE BLOOD.
also, it’s going to stink, like fart!
So have a lot of soft pads because you’re gonna change them often!
“HELLO AGAIN MY FRIEND”,
says your contraction.
IT’S OCTOBERFEST AND YOUR BOOBIES ARE THE TAPS
baby be milk-drunk on your pumped milk.
YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE LIKE THOSE PILL JUNKIES IN MOVIES
because you’ll be poppin’ those painkillers like crazy.
WHAT IS SLEEP?!!!
To end this post, I just want to congratulate you mama. You are amazing, and you are so beautiful. You’re stronger than you know, so when days seem like hell, remember that they’re all going to pass. You’ll get back on your feet in no time so cherish the now, even the ugly parts.