The past week has been so stressful and painful for me and my husband Jorge and to this day, we can't really fully fathom why it happened. The way it happened was pretty crazy too and it has emotionally exhausted me to the point that I can't really put into words what happened. This is what I can tell you though, I lost my family here in Canada.
It makes me very sad that our relationship with my family here has come to "blocking and unfriending on Facebook and having been called bad names through their statuses" and it really confuses me how they did those things to me and even more so to Jorge. All I know for sure is that God truly moves in mysterious but majestic ways
and it will all make sense in the end.
Last night, Jorge and I had a really long and deep conversation about everything that's happened in the past few months. We sat on the couch until 4 AM and we just spilled our hearts out, our thoughts and our personal wishes and dreams on the table. We've been through so much and we've both made difficult decisions in our lives and now, we both feel like we need to make another big decision towards a better future.
In our talk last night, we realized that life is not about just going to work and paying the bills and having free health care and having a stable life. Life is not about living in comfort. Life is so much more than that; so much bigger. Living in Whitehorse has been great and comfortable, but we failed to include one of the most essential element in a perfectly balanced life: HAPPINESS. Yes, me and my sisters have a "better" life here compared to the life we had in the Philippines but just because things are better doesn't mean we'll be happier. So, are we happy here? The answer is no.
Going back to God moving in mysterious ways, Jorge and I realized that what happened this past weekend opened a big door of opportunities to a better life for us, and we both know that God was behind of it all. What happened was bad and painful and 100% unbelievable but God made it happen because it's all part of His big picture! When we realized that this is what happened, we had a better view of what God had planned for us from the beginning. God wants us to live a happy life.
I came across my uncle's status on Facebook last night and this is what it said:
Unhappiness is to your life as pain is to your body. It is sent as a messenger to tell you that what you're doing is wrong for you.
Very often, you'll suffer from what has been called "divine discontent." You'll feel uneasy for reasons that are unclear to you. You'll be dissatisfied with the status quo. Sometimes, you'll be unable to sleep. Sometimes, you'll be angry or irritable. Very often, you'll get upset with things that have nothing to do with the real issue. You'll have a deep inner sense that something isn't as it should be, and you'll often feel like a fish on a hook, squirming emotionally to get free. And that is a good thing. Divine discontent always comes before a positive life change. If you were perfectly satisfied, you would never take any action to improve or change your circumstances. Only when you're dissatisfied for some reason do you have the inner motivation to engage in the outer behaviors that lead you onward and upward.
It was as if God was telling me this! It was the perfect message for the situation Jorge and I are in and it's so clear to us now! We just need to take the next step.
Jorge and I ended our long conversation with a prayer and I've never felt so excited about life. Life is too beautiful to be living it the way the world does. We're not part of this world. We are part of God's kingdom and with that said, God has bigger plans for all of us. WAY way bigger than we can imagine. The world won't always understand God's ways and sometimes, it makes the people around us hate what we do. It would sometimes even lead to the destruction of relationships, even amongst family, but don't fret. God has a plan, a very good plan and it's all part of His big picture.
Even after everything that has happened this past weekend, no matter how ugly and painful it was, Jorge and I have faith that it's all for the best, and now, we're letting go of the situation, and we're letting God handle it because we know, in the end, it will all make sense.